Relive

Isn’t it strange? Whenever we reach towards the finishing line, we always tend to think of all that has gone by, all that has now become a thing of the past. Why is it that we never seem to think of all that is yet to come? We, who pride ourselves as being the “most insightful” of all animals roaming the face of earth, all we tend to look is backwards - reminisce, remember, recollect.

We just want to hold on and are never ready to let it go. Why is this? Are we scared to look ahead or are we too reticent to come out of our comfort-zones. Actually, I guess it’s none of the two. It’s more like the “5-minutes-sleep syndrome”. Just like those precious 5 minutes in the morning when you think you can catch up on all the lost sleep of the previous night, u feel, “let me relive just one more moment of the time gone by and I am gonna make the most of it”...

I know it’s a cliché that time flies by, but you know that’s the beauty of clichés! They are clichéd because they are so true. Time truly flies past and in fact I would say it’s more like the sand than the wind. The more you try to grasp it, the faster it slides out of your hands, from between the spaces of your fingers. Actually, on second thoughts, maybe that’s why they say that walking through times by holding on to someone’s hands is much easier. You see, the spaces between your fingers are filled and you can hold on to time...hold on to your memories or better still, create new ones!

Yet most of us invariably find ourselves standing at a threshold of a new beginning and before taking that step forwards, we turn our heads backwards. Not because we want to hold on to something. But because we want to relive. Maybe splash in that water-puddle one more time, propose to our sweetheart one more time (and do it better this time :P) , enjoy that pillow fight with the younger/older brother/sister one more time,  tip-toe in the kitchen for the 2 am maggi at a school buddy’s place one more time,  enjoy a friend’s misery by hiding the precious Blackberry one more time.......Just RELIVE one more time !

Don’t hold on.....RELIVE!!!! Not once but every time that you want to.........

I want to be me !

Masks & facades & deliberate expressions,

reality is lost in the midst of imitations.

Walking among the "august" company

chin held up & head held high.

Eyes fixed on the horizon,

Its the landscape that has got lost somewhere midway........

Trying to be that "one of the best",

fixated on being a "cut above the rest"

success governed by figures in "black & white"

Its the purpose of it all that has got lost somewhere midway.........

Exchange not communication; acknowledgment not recognition

transaction not relation; efficiency not passion

with attributes of a gadget planted in you

Isn't it your OWN image in the mirror that has got lost somewhere midway..............

Silent lullaby.....

While the head rests on the pillow,
the mind wanders into a world of imagination;
the heart takes a flight to the land of nowhere ...

The ceiling changes its contours every minute,
Shadows on the wall dance to the tune of the breeze that flurries past !

Eyes seek to see beyond the pitch darkness...
& sounds of silence.....are my lullaby for the night.....

Do you remember ?

To all those who roam the premises of this maggudom, to all those who are “not just another brick in the wall”, if you pose the question, “What is life at WIMWI like”, the response can be fairly expected & monotonous. Almost 80% of the junta (this is just an innocent writer’s freedom to create impressions, kindly do not ask for source of data!) would inadvertently come up with adjectives close to these four: interesting, intensive, challenging, competitive........

But the wimwian in me begs you to see on the other side of the wall. Remember that day when you were feeling a complete loser, thinking how you had committed the biggest mistake of your life by joining an MBA course, how you are just not made for it.  Along came the studmaxx, I-schol guy/girl. Gave you that pat on the back and said, “abe, itna kya load le raha hai? .5 credit hi toh hai, chill maar.....chal Rambhai pe sutta maarte hain!” And something inside you said we are all in this together. Marks, GPAs, grades would remain nothing but case-facts, what will shine through is your learning from these “case facts” and a better analysis the next time.

And that day when you were lying in your bed, thermometer mercury touching 102 degrees and in comes in that nerd to be at your side. He (actually he/she....) sits at your bedside, frantically start calling fellow maggus across the dorm if someone has a medicine, make sure you have a dose and takes you to the doctor first thing in the morning. He would be your mum, your doc, your friend and even your nurse, if need be.

And do you recollect the day when you had that “serious” fight with your guy/gal on the phone and declared break up for probably a 116th time in the last four months. First, he pulled your leg, laughed off the affair and enjoyed your moment of distress. But then his was the shoulder you rested your head on and both of you cribbed about how people outside the campus will never understand the rigours of wimwi life. And then you screened every possible fachha/fachhi/tuchha/tuchhi who is single, available....did a situation analysis, reviewed your options based on a set of criteria and devised an action plan!

And of course how can you forget that day of the sudden surprise quiz. You had slept through all the lectures, had opened the casemat only once to check the number of sessions and weightage of CP marks. Just as the maggus ran towards their rooms only to lock themselves in, it was he who took you by your arm and in 15 minutes took the most fabulous REM that even the best of the TA could not attempt !

Revel in the spirit of the place. Don’t just think of the “stud” wimwi connections/networks, try and build bonds and relationships or at least don’t just deal with people, associate with them.  They say wimwi gives you a contact list that you can “use” all your life...

Well, I am looking forward to the list that I will “cherish” all my life.....

P.S. : I am sure I don’t need to remind you of the first WAC night out and the first WAC run and memories you all share of it, collectively !

If Only..........

If only silence had a voice,

If only stillness could stir,

If only hush could scream

If only quietness could make some noise.........

Maybe the heart could wake from its slumber,

listen, understand, comprehend.......

Listen to the tales soul has to tell,

understand the ebb and flow of passion,comprehend the voice behind the clutter,

If only.................

The silence pleads to be heard,

it beseeches to be a given a voice.

If only the hear could hear......

the beck and call of a soul so near !

If only the heart could hear.......

its shrieks of joy,its cries of agony,

its reminiscence of memories,

its creation of dreams.

If only.................

Canvas....

With the stroke of a brush,

I paint the canvas new,

I change the painting altogether

and not just its hue.

A new dimension, a new look,

an entirely new perception.

My canvas gets a feel of freshness,

And a picture emerges from the mess !

And just when my canvas gets ready for the mantle shelf,

Just when I see a reflection of myself,

A sudden stroke rubs off my canvas,

& all those colours I filled in so dearly, 

all those dimensions I could see so clearly,

All suddenly blur away....................

The sudden disturbance, shakes me , stirs me

And then I stand still............

I speak, I act, I dance, I sing,

But my reflection in the canvas just stands still............

New colours I seek to paint my canvas anew,

What can't be erased,

needs to be given a new hue !

Whoops and oops !!!!!!!!

There are moments which just pass by, unnoticed, uncared for, some which strike you bang on and then there are some which  hit on you gradually......slowly as the moment(s) lingers on, you realize what it means to you and what difference does it make to you, your impressions, your thoughts, your memories....

Starting from Day Zero till the end, each day was filled with all of such moments. Some gone unheeded, some struck us by surprise and then there were some moments which just dragged on and had us glued to them. I am guessing that most of those at IIM-A who go through this exciting journey each year reminisce each moment with such sheer clarity and depth that their minds have indelible impressions of these. "Suit up" acquires a new meaning all together and no one is afraid of their "oops" moment !

As each moment passes, one loses oneself in the waters of "fachha pool". Those who are lucky enough to find their shores early, stick on. They remain as anchors for those who swim offshore. The most gratifying of all moments is when the feeling of rivalry turns into that of mutual revelry. Competition certainly governs your actions, undoubtedly. But what stands apart is that sense of being together, that feeling of  joint relief and happiness. A typical "aah se ahaaa" moment :)

There are moments when personal sense of achievement and accomplishment seem incomplete unless we are joined by those with whom we can celebrate our feat. And no, this is not out of any sense of modesty or being too good a Samaritan. Its just that, as I mentioned earlier, the moments gradually pass by and its gradually that you realise what each of these means to you. That tight, shared hug which tells you "hey dude, see, we have done this! wasn't that difficult, was it "......... there is no feeling that can match it. 

Cheers to all those who experienced it and to those who were there for the  reassuring pats on the back and the comforting and encouraging handclasps.......... while the "Summers" were sure heated up, they did spend their warmth around as well.........