On this side of the sea !

It’s a vast expanse. Deep. Boundary less. Dynamic yet absolutely still at its depths. Noisy yet absolutely at peace from within. Its blue, its silver, its orange, its pink, its black;  yet it is colourless by its very nature. It is fatal when in rage yet  harbours life in its deepest recesses. It leads to separations and creates boundaries yet it also connects. It makes you happy yet thoughtful, it gives you strength yet makes you feel insecure and insignificant ! It takes your rubbish in and still offers you the pearls it breeds !

I am not exactly fascinated by the sea. No, in fact there are times when I am a little scared by its vastness.  But there is something about those waves lashing across the rocks, that constant bouncing of the waves on the shore that makes me go back to the sea. Maybe its vastness arouses a sense of freedom in me. If I feel cramped within my self-created close spaces, I know the sea is at my rescue. There is a world beyond it, a world which I am yet to see and its BIG ! And funnily enough that’s when also the exact opposite realization dawns. That the world on this side is also yet unexplored. Why am I not stepping out of my shell? Why is it that I always wonder about the “other side”? Hell, there’s so much on this side yet to experience, yet to share !

The sea itself tosses out the shell from its womb so that the pearl within can be noticed and polished and shine and cherished.  Well, I am the pearl ! And I want to discover and be discovered. And I want to shine and be cherished. And of course, I want to get out of this shell yet hold on to it. Because this little shell of mine holds the entire sea for me !!!!!

खुद से मुलाकात

कभी जब ख़ामोशी कानो में चुभने सी लगती है

लबों के कोने में एक गुफ्तगू की आरज़ू दबी रहती है

कभी जब खुश्क पत्तों की बुरबुराहट में कोई कहानी छुपी सी  लगती है

लम्हों के साये  में एक सदी की दास्ताँ गूंजती है........ 

वो पल है जब मेरी खुद से मुलाकात होती है

अनकहे से कुछ शब्द  स्याही से निकलकर,

पन्ने की ओट लेकर, अपने वजूद का एहसास दिलाते हैं

एक मासूम  सी ख्वाहिश दबे पाँव आती है; और किताब के कोने में सिमट के बैठ जाती है 

शब्दों और ख्वाहिशों की पहचान करते करते 

जब कुछ  खोयी यादें जवां होती है.......

वो पल है जब मेरी खुद से मुलाकात होती है

बारिश की बूँदें जब बदन को छू कर रूह को भिगोने लगती हैं

ख्यालों के मकां में जब ख़्वाबों की धुप सजने लगती है

कभी जब एक सियाह से अक्स में रंग भरने लगते हैं

कहीं से हरी दूब की सौंधी सी खुशबू आने लगती है.......

वो पल है जब मेरी खुद से मुलाकात होती है 

It's You !

The song that plays in the background, or just the silence of the kitchen,

The chaos and commotion of the traffic on the road,  or just the stillness of my window sill...........

In the midst of all this, I am present yet secluded

I am right there in the thick of things; near yet aloof !

You sing the same songs to me, you suddenly clutter my kitchen

You wait at the other end of the commotion;

You peep right through the window sill !

Both smiles and tears play games with me,

For one often becomes the reason for the other.

I remember the moments of shared laughter and;

welled up tears follow my memories;

I weep in memories of sweet nothings and;

a blushing smile crosses my countenance !

You are the breeze that glides past me gently; you are the raindrop that moistens my face;

You are the radiance that brightens my eyes; you are echo that resonates in my ears !

The song, the silence, the chaos, the stillness,

You are the one who pops in through it all !

The smile, the tears, the memories, the shyness,

You are the one who has a share in this all !

Tired Eyes !

They speak !

Sometimes out of sadness, sometimes out of sheer excitement,

Sometimes out of anger, sometimes out of sheer frustration !

Now they are muted.

Tired eyes !

They look around !

Sometimes out of curiosity, sometimes out of sheer boredom,

Sometimes seeking attention, sometimes beseeching acknowledgment.

Now they are still.

Tired eyes !

They listen !

Sometimes to the sound of silence, sometimes the stories that the world tells,

Sometimes to the laughter of a happy heart, sometimes the sobbing soul.

Now they are indifferent.

Tired eyes !

Tired they are, not so lifeless, though

They still twinkle, they still glow

momentarily though !

Seeking solace from within,

Tired eyes !

वो माँ है !

सवेरे नींद से जगाते हुए भी आँखों में जो नए सपने भर दे

जो नाश्ते में एक मीठा दुलार, एक खट्टी सी डांट और ढेर सारा गरम गरम प्यार परोसे,

वो माँ हैं

जिसकी  सारी के पल्लू को कभी अपना तौलिया तो कभी पर्दा मान लिया

जिसको गोद में कभी अपना सर रखके चैन से सो गए,

तो कभी रुआंसा सा चेहरा चुप के आके छुपा लिया

जिसे कभी खाना खाने के लिए तंग किया

तो कभी अपने मनपसंद पकवान बनवाने की जिद्द की

वो माँ है

पापा से छुप के जिसे अपने दिल के सारे भेद बता दिए,

जिससे नज़रें चुराके भाई के साथ रोज़ एक नयी शरारत छेढ़ी

वो माँ है

वो जो घनी, तपती धुप में स्कूल के बहार शिकंजवी लिए खड़ी थी

वो जो कड़कती सर्दी में अपनी रजाई मुझपे दाल देती थी

वो जो बारिश में भीगने पर खूब डांटती 

और फिर गरम गरम हलवा बना कर मेरी सर्दी दूर करती

वो माँ है

वो जो मुझे रोज़ दिखती तो नहीं, 

पर हर पल मेरी हिचकियों में मुझे पुकारती है

वो जिसको परछाई हूँ मैं,

जिससे अलग तो हूँ , पर उसी  में समाई हूँ मैं,

वो माँ है

Stay !

Whisper to me, for i am all ears,

tell me stories, both told n untold. 

Clasp my hand and take me forward,

or just hold it and let the moment stay !

let me sit at my window sill and gaze across the overcast span of sky,
let me play with the raindrops while you just sit across and smile !

Oh ! what a day would that be.

let me just stay tight-lipped for the day,

let my eyes say what my heart speaks !

let me just enjoy the quietness of the silent breeze;

while you just sing those songs that lend a symphony to the surroundings

Oh ! what music would that be.

Speak to me, for i just want to listen,

transpire from my thoughts to reality !

Let me look at the mirror and smile,

don't roll down my cheeks, just stay at the corner of my eye !

Is this Bombay or me ! :)

She has her own way; she lives her own life. There is a unique way in which she wakes up to greet the day. She rambles and trudges; wanders and meanders her way through the day. At times she would just gaily promenade her way through the twists and bends while at other times she tends to hiccup a little. You see, the day doesn’t yield to every whim and fancy of hers ! Why would it, after all ? So, she cribs, complaints, grumbles and moans. But towards the end of the day she still finds herself striding along the same pathway; she has got used to a tumble here or a topple there. 

And then comes the evening. So she has her own distinctive or rather idiosyncratic way of hailing the twilight, for this is when the world actually notices her.  Up until now everyone around her is so engrossed in finding ways along their own pathways that no one really bothers to observe where is she leading to; even though they cross hers unimaginable number of times. So, as dusk falls, she lights up, grapping everyone’s attention (and even the deliberate lack of it!). Some see her as independent, some tied up in clutches of routine, norms and conventions; some hail her as a rebel, others pity her solitary existence; some find her magical, others wicked. For some she is the epitome of exuberance, excitement and life itself while there are those for whom she’s symbolic of eternal and tedious grind. She’s both avant-garde and regressive; she’s unconventional but also conservative ! 

As night falls, she curls up but hardly sleeps. Her dreams keep her awake. So many hopes are pinned upon her; she is to fulfill many aspirations. And of course she wishes to spruce up her own pathway, she is not too fond of the hitches and the glitches, you see. But yeah, she has to be patient and also let time enjoy its veto power over certain matters. 

And one morning come the rains ! Ahhh! She both awaits and dreads them (actually she is biased towards the “awaits” part!). For the rains bring with themselves freshness and sparkle but she has to be very cautious to not let the raindrops soil her….. for she loves to hop and skip and soar and fly and enjoy the rains :)