Your first failure, your first heartbreak. Your worst hair day, your most embarrassing faux pas. Your first feeling of "high"ness, your fall into the deepest of abyss................. Funny how you share the lowest points of your life with people you call FRIENDS ! No matter how well you do in life, how many greenbacks you earn, how many accolades you win, the person with whom you share your "sinking" feeling with is that friend of yours. The one who's been standing there all this while, without you even noticing, the person on whose shoulders who rested your head umpteen times without even being thankful once. Sometimes you were sad, sometimes depressed, sometimes anxious, sometimes scared..... and sometimes just plain tired. All you did was retire into that corner and rest your head against the wall until he/she came, gently slid their the fingers into your frail ones, clutched it tight and walked with you a mile. Quietly, no questions asked, no suggestions made, no advice given. No "told-you-so" remarks, no "what-do you-think-you-were-doing" accusations.....they just walk along until your feet gather pace and you are all set to tread the path on your own.
I find it rather funny and intriguing at the same time that how someone with whom you share your fears and fantasies, your failures and futility seems to disappear just when you have settled in your comfortable, cosy little world ! Wasn't he/she the one who led you from the reluctance to readiness? Weren't they the ones with whom you shared your inferiority complexes without the fear of being judged? Weren't they the ones who always said "hey buddy, hope you have the greatest time ever"? Then why is it that sometimes we just very comfortably, very simply fail to engage them in our happiness. So, we enter this new world, shake new hands, enjoy the hi-5s and the good times....... and just don't bother to see around if that friend is there. Has it happened to any of you that we become so used to that shoulder always being there, we actually take it to that corner we sometimes retreat to and just leave it there ; comfortable with the fact that "kahan jaayega, it is mine only".
And then one day, when the party is over, when the music is turned off and all your "buddies" go back home you grope in that corner, searching frantically for that clutch of the hand, that shoulder you so desperately want to rest on. Yes, you do want to share the fun of the party that just got over, you want to engage him/her in the bubble of mirth and celebration that just burst. Yes, you do want to share your joy, your happiness, your "day of glory". Yes, you so genuinely want to share the fun....yet there's no one to listen now.
Not that no one waited. Of course, someone was waiting......waiting to be invited in ! Yet, in the jubilation and cacophony, while you may not have knowingly meant it, you just forgot to extend your hand. Yes, you have wronged, you have messed up, you have delayed it beyond repair. But just one time, gather that courage and take that step forward. Hug it out ! You know your "cosy, comfortable " little world would only be a self-satisfying mirage of sorts if you lose that shoulder of support. FRIENDS....... they always listen.....because they are the only people who know all about you and still tolerate you......because they would forgive you and say "kameene, tu hai hi aisa" !